Pandemonium
by porcelain87
Summary: Post-Hogwarts everyone is busy going their own ways but it seems that the Hogwarts alumni can never really get rid of each other. HPDM and HGBZ.
1. Prologue

Pandemonium  
Prologue

Draco Malfoy was the man. He was flawless and everyone wanted him. If they were lucky enough, they got him for one night, two if he was feeling generous. Draco could have anyone and anything that he wanted. Draco Malfoy was legend; he was every girl and guy's fantasy. On the eve of the Ministry's annual Autumn Ball, he had had many dancing partners, as well as many drinking partners.

All of this contributed to landing Draco where he was now, lying naked in a stranger's bed: alone.

Draco sat up, warily rubbing sleep from his eyes, and took a look around the room. It was decorated in very bad taste and screamed tack. Leopard print was everywhere and the bed sheets were velvet. Wrinkling his nose in obvious distaste, Draco slide out of the bed and pulled on his pants. He wasn't able to find his underwear, but after some searching managed to find his white button up shirt hanging off of a zebra striped lampshade.

Draco's ears perked up slightly as he heard singing coming from the bathroom. Loud, obnoxious and extremely off-tune singing. Wincing, Draco slide on his shoes and crept silently to the door, opening it and exiting without much more then a creak of the old wooden floorboards.

He tip-toed down the hallway and then down the shag carpeted stairs, pausing only after he dropped his family ring and had to bend down and root around for it. Straightening, Draco continued stealthily down the stairs and into the main hall, darting past a cluttered kitchen and sliding into the living room, which was also done in tacky jungle print.

Only a hop, skip and a jump from the front door, Draco froze and stared. Above the mantel there were family pictures, and pictures of the house's owner. One thing was present in all of the pictures and that was a man with silky blond hair tied back in extravagant looking pastel bows. The man was wearing a variety of ruffled shirts, each with fussy looking cufflinks at the base of the expensive looking suit jackets that were most likely hand embroidered.

Feeling faint, Draco's eyes traveled towards the bookshelf that was full of books. One entire row, Draco noted queasily, was full of an overdone leather bound book with gold script down the spine in elegant lettering. The spine read 'Magical Me'.

Draco had never felt sicker in his entire life and he was about ready to pass out.

He unlocked the door and raced outside, taking in the fresh air as quickly as possible. He shielded his eyes from the glaring sun and looked back at the house with sheer terror in his eyes and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He, Draco Amadeus Lucius Malfoy, had just slept with Gilderoy Lockheart.

Merlin, he had really done himself in this time. It was with these thoughts that Draco Malfoy stumbled down the street, pausing at the corner of something and Main, and vomited.

Draco Malfoy was the man. Draco Malfoy could hold his liquor extremely well. It was apparent, however, that the one thing, aside from his stomach contents, that Draco couldn't hold well was a meaningful relationship.

"Bloody hell."

Author's Notes: There's the prologue for you. In advance I would like to say in my noble defense that this story does indeed contain slash. But, if you didn't know that already then you have serious issues. I'm a very liberal writer and I expect my readers to be equally liberal or they can kindly cram it. This is going to be my fourth attempt at writing Harry Potter fan fiction, though I consider it my first true attempt. The first chapter's coming up soon. I would like to thank the following people in advance: first of all the loverly people at for hosting so many lovely stories and secondly my wonderful beta, IndigoKitti. She's my inspiration for this fic and she's the one that got me onto H/D in the first place. Thank you to her for hosting this on her site as well. Hugs and Kisses to anyone who reviews for a prologue!


	2. Chapter One: Laugh It Up

Pandemonium

Chapter One: Laugh It Up

Pansy sipped idly at her drink, eyes sparking amusedly as Draco retold the story of how he had slept with Lockheart to Millicent and Blaise.

"That's disgusting!" Millicent cried, shaking at the mental imagery that had been conjured in her head. Draco nodded his head and continued the story.

"You won't believe what happened next!" he added and Pansy rolled her eyes, thinking that he was getting a little _too_ involved with the story.

"What?" Millicent asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"So I've just tossed my cookies, lost my lunch, hurled – whatever you want to call it – when I see Weasley walking down the street with that Mudblood Granger."

Blaise clucked his tongue at Draco's usage of such a derogatory term and Draco stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

"Sorry, mum," Draco hissed sarcastically at Blaise, who shot him a dirty look in return.

"Fuck off, Blaise! Finish your little cat fight with Draco later…I want to know what happened next!" Pansy snapped, pulling her full attention back onto Draco. Draco smirked triumphantly while Blaise sulked childishly.

"Either way, so I'm still a little pale looking—"

"But you're _always_ pale looking, Draco! If you were any paler you would no longer be considered opaque!" Blaise pointed out.

"Hey! Who's telling the story here, you or me?" Draco snarled.

"Fine, fine, fine. I'm sorry. Continue."

"Damn right you're sorry…goddamned Italians, think that they're so great with their thick, curly hair and nice teeth…not to mention tight butts…hmmm," Draco trailed off eyeing Blaise's bottom while Blaise looked at him in shock.

"As I was saying! Weasley and Granger were walking down the street and Granger didn't look all that happy with Weasley, she was actually telling him off for something and his face was really red and it actually wasn't too flattering-what with the orange hair and all. But I digress…" Draco trailed off and took a sip of his mocha.

"Get on with it!" Millicent squealed and Draco smirked, loving the attention he was getting out of this.

"Apparently," Draco began, "they had been fighting about _sex_."

"What about sex?" Blaise asked with peaked interest.

"For the record Blaise, I'm only mildly icked by your sudden interest in my story when Granger and sex came up," Draco noted and Blaise glared at him, mumbling something about albino faggots under his breath.

"It is a good question though…why were they arguing about sex? And in a public place too! Goodie goodie Granger must have been really pissed to have felt the need to have such an 'intimate' argument in the open like that," Millicent noted.

"It would seem that Weasley couldn't keep it down and went off to have sex with some other twat and Granger caught him in the act," Draco finished triumphantly.

"Wow, suddenly I'm almost on Granger's side," Pansy laughed.

"Ew, Weasley sex is not something that should be discussed…_ever_!" Millicent cried, covering her ears and trying to work the disturbing images out of her brain.

"As wonderful as that story was Draco, what did it have to do with you?" Blaise sneered and it was Draco's turn to glare.

"Don't get your knickers in a bunch! I was still getting there," Draco said with a smirk.

"So, they're fighting and I'm standing there feeling incredibly amused and rather mean spirited-more so towards the Weasel, mind you- easier to pick on, his hexes are weaker. I just had to make a comment," Draco paused dramatically and upon seeing Millicent loosing interest and Blaise rolling his eyes he continued, "I said something about his package not being adequate enough and he just snapped!"

"So that's how you got that cut on your lip," Blaise mumbled.

"Yes, well…. here's the real kicker- Weasley's wailing on me and I'm still in a state of shell shock from the Lockheart incident so I'm not really doing anything to stop him. You can imagine that I'm actually getting beat up at this time and then, _Granger_ pulled him off of me and just went off at him. Weasley looked more frightened then I've ever seen him in my life- and you remember me telling you about First year, right?" Draco's friends stared at him with wide-eyes.

"So then what happened?" Millicent inquired and Draco smiled smugly.

"Weasley was confused and Granger just ended up dragging him away after apologizing to me. I almost went into cardiac arrest."

"Good Lord, you've managed to encounter the entire Golden Trio within the last twenty four hours!" Pansy snorted and Draco froze, turning to look at her.

"What?"

"You've had a run in with all three of them…first Potter and now Granger and Weasley," Pansy explained slowly. Draco paled and he sat back in his chair, shock washing over him.

"Draco, don't tell me you _forgot_ about last night!" Pansy shrieked, starting at the blond in a combination of amusement and horror.

Draco nodded mutely and Pansy stopped laughing.

"You honestly don't remember?"

Draco shook his head and Pansy groaned, slouching in her chair while Blaise and Millicent watched them curiously.

"Bloody hell."

Author's Notes: I cut this chapter a little shorter then I first intended…I promise that the ones to follow will be a lot longer and if you're concerned about the lack of Draco/Harry interaction never fear, it too shall soon come! As far as getting the next chapter out faster we'll see how school permits. It's been really hectic as of late and I just haven't had the time to do anything related to my fanfics. I have tons of beta work that I need to catch up on too before some writers (Indigo, I'm looking at you) decide to beat me with their HP character named laptops. Hugs and kisses to my beta reader and to everyone who took the time to review the prologue! You're some right fine classy people and just for that I give cookies and a cup of milk to the following people:

Rei Magami: You've got to be cruel to be kind, love! Don't worry there's much worse and much better things to come!

Gwen: Only almost? Well, he is a playboy but still…

Cricketpoor: Thank you for the complement, I hope I don't disappoint!

Masha: Hee hee, I don't know why I felt the need to use Amadeus as Draco's middle name…probably because I had just been on a Mozart kick. Thanks for the lovely compliments!

Holy Snappers: I don't know if Lockheart's the worst of people to wake up to in the morning, but he's defiantly up there. More ill placed humor to come!

Nuppu: It was a rather interesting way to start a story, wasn't it? I'm still new at this whole writing thing so I'm struggling to keep the style consistent…wish me luck and thanks for the support!


	3. Chapter Two: Foul Mouths

**Pandemonium**  
**Chapter Two: Foul Mouths**

Draco sat on his bed after Blaise walked him home. The other boy was seated in Draco's favorite armchair across from him.

"Are you ok?" Blaise asked, not liking how silent Draco had become after Pansy had pulled him aside and whispered into his ear at the restaurant. There was no answer from Draco and Blaise sighed, blowing a stray piece of hair from his eyes.

"Draco, whatever she told you couldn't be that bad," Blaise reasoned.

Draco snorted but said nothing.

"Oh for the love of…Draco, come on!" Blaise whined.

Draco stood up and grabbed Blaise by his shoulders, pulling Blaise's chin closer to his own lips.

"I was rejected. Draco Malfoy does not get rejected. By anyone. Ever."

Blaise gulped and licked his lips nervously, sighing in relief when Draco released him and let him fall back to his seat. Fixing his collar, Blaise cocked his head to one side and studied Draco carefully before choosing his words.

"Just who rejected you?" he asked.

Draco took in a sharp breath and mumbled something inaudible to Blaise.

"What was that?"

"Harry Potter. Harry Bloody Golden Boy Potter!" Draco snapped, eyes hard as steel.

Blaise was still for a moment and then his lip twitched. Try as he might Blaise couldn't hold in his laughter and he was soon rolling around on the floor laughing.

Narrowing his eyes, Draco kicked Blaise in the stomach harshly and the laughing boy cried out in shock and curled into a fetal position.

"What the hell was that for you crazy poofter?"

"It's not funny, Blaise. How would you feel if someone rejected you?"

Blaise arched an eyebrow and sat up while Draco sighed and sat down on the floor next to him. Blaise slung a friendly arm around Draco.

"I'm sorry I laughed at you," he said seriously and Draco offered him a rare smile.

"Nah," he began, "I guess that I'm just a little shocked still over it all."

"So, what happened exactly?"

Draco sighed and leaned back so his weight was resting on his elbows. He chewed his lower lip as he remembered the night the best he could and paired it up with what Pansy told him.

"First of all I would like to express how pissed off I am at you for not coming with Pansy and I. The whole thing was incredibly dull without you. Pansy had gone off to talk with some Quidditch player from Romania and I had only recently become acquainted with the bar…"

Flashback-

Muggle music really was the most horrid thing that Draco had heard in his life. Why the Ministry insisted on playing it at these get togethers he would never understand. Draco wasn't sure whether it was the whiny voice of a band that he had overheard Pansy refer to as 'emo' or the several cups of spiked punch he'd just consumed that was giving him a massive headache but he did know that it felt like Hippogriffs were dancing the cha cha on his cranium. That was when he saw Harry Potter.

Draco didn't really know what came over him, but next thing he remembered he was standing next to the Golden Boy, laughing along with a rather snotty looking Asian girl he recognized back from Hogwarts. She had graduated the year before he had; Cho Chang was her name. Harry stopped talking and stared at Draco and Draco stared back, smiling stupidly.

"Is there something that you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, confused by Draco's facial expression.

At the moment Draco felt oddly attracted the Boy Wonder and couldn't help but answer his question rather inappropriately.

Cho blushed like wild fire and scurried off, looking over her shoulder and blushing again when she caught both Harry and Draco's gazes.

"Do you live to make my life hell or something?" Harry groaned, watching Cho go further and further away.

Draco cursed to himself. Harry Potter really didn't know how to take a hint. Either that or he was just getting rusty with the whole hitting on thing, but that wasn't it. He smiled his most seductive smile and leaned in closer to Harry, arching an eyebrow and wetting his lips. He was amused when Harry's eyes stayed locked on his lips.

"Only if you like it that way," Draco replied.

"What?"

"Only if you like it that way. Are you deaf, Potter?"

"Only if I like it what way?" Harry cried out, not understanding what Malfoy was getting at.

Draco sighed in frustration. Potter was trying his patience and there was a rather sultry looking blond man standing over by his beloved punch bowel. If only Potter wasn't so damned tempting with his adorably messed up hair and electric green eyes.

"Malfoy, are you alright? You're starting to scare me," Harry asked.

Draco growled and pulled his hair in frustration. This wasn't going to go anywhere soon. He had to take evasive action and he needed to do it then and there.

"You're hot. Let's fuck."

It was then and there that Harry James Potter slapped Draco Amadeus Malfoy clean across the face and stomped off, face bright red and eyes wide with shock.

End Flashback-

"Ouch, that's got to be more then a little embarrassing," Blaise commented sympathetically.

"You're telling me," Draco grumbled.

"Well, what's done is done. You can't change the past and all of that," Blaise reasoned. Draco sat up and stared.

"Oh can't I?" he cackled mischievously, eyeing a golden chain around Blaise's neck evilly.

"Oh no you don't!" Blaise warned, clutching a hand to the chain protectively.

"Come on! It couldn't possibly hurt to use it for something as trivial as _this_."

"And that's exactly why you aren't allowed to use it. This is stupid Draco; you're just going to have to learn to deal with rejection like the rest of society."

"Draco Malfoy is not like the rest of society! I don't have to deal with anything if I don't want to! Things will go my way if I say so and right now I want things to go my way."

"No, no and no. That's final Draco," Blaise reprimanded and Draco sulked for a moment.

"Fine then, I'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Where are my leather courting pants?"

Blaise chocked on air and blinked.

"You can't be considering what I think you're considering."

"And just why the hell can't I?"

"You can not seduce Harry bloody Potter, Draco! You just can't!" Blaise shrieked.

"I don't see why not…you've been trying to get into Granger's pants for years now," Draco reminded the Italian boy. Blaise glared but silenced himself.

"There's a good man," Draco laughed, patting Blaise on the cheek. Blaise snapped at Draco's fingers with his teeth but relented.

"You'll be needing help I suppose?" he asked warily. Draco gave him a million dollar smile.

"My sweetest Zabini, you know me too well."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Blaise mumbled as he set out to help Draco look for his leather pants.

Hermione nearly choked on her cracker when Harry came bursting into her flat.

"For the love of…don't ever do that again!" she cried out, clutching her chest and panting.

"Sorry, but this is urgent!" Harry said. Upon seeing her friend's serious expression Hermione motioned for him to sit down next to her at the table.

"What's wrong?" she asked and Harry was about to answer before he noticed something.

"Hermione, where's your ring?"

"What ring?" Hermione laughed, nervously.

"Don't give me that. The ring that Ron gave you for your last birthday, where is it?"

"I gave it back to him," Hermione said firmly in a no nonsense tone of voice.

"You what?"

"You heard me. I gave it back to the great prat," she repeated with a small frown.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. Ron had a habit of messing up relationships and Harry had figured it was only an amount of time that the reckless red head went and messed up the one he had with Hermione.

"What did he do?"

Hermione sniffed and bit her tongue; "I don't really feel like going over it right now. Why did you burst into my flat? You scared the living daylights out of me!"

Harry blinked and then blushed, remembering why he had come.

"Draco Malfoy doesn't know the meaning of the word tact," he spat.

"Well that's descriptive of you," Hermione jeered sarcastically and Harry looked at her oddly. Blushing, Hermione put on an 'interested' expression and decide to be the good friend that she was and ask for more detail.

"The git hit on me at the party last night!"

Hermione stifled a laugh but was soon holding her stomach and trying not to fall off of her stool.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, it's not funny," Harry hissed and Hermione sobered herself up the best she could.

"What happened?"

"Well first of all I would like to tell you how choked I am that you didn't come with me last night. I felt so out of place in there and it wasn't until I found Cho and started talking to her…"

Flashback-

Harry hated going to parties and the one thing he hated more then going to parties was going to one alone. There was never anyone to talk to and every time he went to one the same transvestite would come up to him and pinch his bottom before slipping his/her number in the waistband of Harry's trousers.

He searched around for someone, anyone, to talk to and finally laid eyes on his old school crush, Cho Chang. She looked the same, tall with raven coloured hair and an even pure skin tone. She still looked fake and Harry frowned with disinterest as he noticed her indecently cut shirt and too short skirt. Cho must have felt Harry looking and unfortunately for Harry took it as a flirtatious gesture because she was soon standing next to him rambling on about the _good times_ back at Hogwarts.

Harry couldn't help but look at the girl like she had three heads. The good times that Cho was so affectionately referring to were escaping him. As far as Harry was concerned anything that fell into the chapter of Cho during his stay at Hogwarts were far away from being labeled as good. Still, for lack of anything better to do, Harry smiled and make light chatter with the over assuming girl and winced every once and a while when Cho would laugh her head off at something he said that wasn't even remotely funny.

Cho was in the middle of braying like a donkey when Harry noticed that Draco Malfoy had somehow crept up beside them and was looking at him with a large stupid smile on his face. Feeling rather disconcerted, Harry gave Draco a confused look, which earned him an even larger smile.

"Is there something that you want, Malfoy?"

Harry watched as Draco eyed him up and down while a sinking feeling developed in his stomach. Harry Potter was no innocent he knew that look. So it was no surprise to Harry when Draco crudely replied with words that could only be called guttural.

And much to Harry's surprise, he found that he was upset to see Cho hurry off, embarrassed by the commentary and probably more then a little uncomfortable. Bimbo or not, Cho was still better company and a lot easier to understand then Draco.

"Do you live to make my life hell or something?" Harry groaned, not realizing that he had said anything until Draco moved closer. Harry watched entranced as Draco licked his lips and Harry felt his knees go weak. Trying to do anything but look at Draco's pink and full lips Harry failed miserably in his own personal mission.

"Only if you like it that way," Draco replied.

"What?" Harry asked, still focused on Draco's lips.

"Only if you like it that way. Are you deaf, Potter?" Draco asked, sounding amused at Harry's obvious disarray.

"Only if I like it what way?" Harry cried out, starting to understand what Malfoy was getting at but unsure of his true intentions.

Draco spaced out again and Harry gulped, taking in the blond and feeling sick as he realized his mounting attraction.

"Malfoy, are you alright? You're starting to scare me," Harry asked.

"You're hot. Let's fuck."

It was then and there that Harry James Potter slapped Draco Amadeus Malfoy clean across the face and stomped off, face bright red and eyes wide with shock.

End Flashback-

Hermione was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face. Harry glared at her darkly and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for her to sober.

"Are you done?" he snapped irritably.

"You're hot. Let's fuck! Harry, not only does Malfoy not know the meaning of tact but after a statement like that I don't even think he knows how to spell it!"

"Ha sodding ha, still not helping," Harry mumbled.

"I don't see what the big problem is," Hermione began and Harry cut her off.

"You don't see what the big problem is? Draco Sodding Malfoy just hit on me and in so many words declared that he wanted to ram his combat rob up my burning love hole!"

Hermione burst into another fit of laughter and Harry turned red as a tomato. Hermione caught her breath and placed a hand over Harry's arm.

"I know that you're still a little flustered because of it, but honestly worse things could happen to you Harry. I mean, didn't you use to have a crush on Draco in seventh year?"

Harry groaned and buried his face into his hands, "you promised me that you'd never mention that again."

"I just thought that it might be prudent to remind you."

"Gee, thanks ever so much for that."

"Any time."

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I still do, you know," Harry admitted softly.

"Oh?" Hermione asked, playing the fool.

"I still have a crush on Draco Malfoy."

Hermione gave Harry's arm a squeeze and then a light pat.

"I know, I know."

Author's Notes: And there's chapter two for you all! A good deal longer then the first chapter and the prologue, I do hope that you're all proud of me. And the plot (albeit predictably) thickens! I'll give a new broom waxing kit to anyone that figures out what was around Blaise's neck (Gee, like you'd have to think twice about it).

I guess that I should clarify a few things…this takes place post-Hogwarts while select Hogwarts graduates along with graduates of other schools are pressuring a post-secondary education at the Ministry run Universities. These means of post-secondary offer a variety of courses, much like muggle schools and the degrees take a few years to complete.

I would like to thank IK for betaing this for me, I love you and your fics…if you haven't checked out Deny Thy Father do it now, it's amazing.

For random drabble by me and little tidbits like cookies feel free to visit my Live Journal. Right now it's public but due to recent events I'm considering making it Friends only. I don't bite (hard) so if you want feel free to post a comment and ask to be friends. My username is mfray.

Also a great big hug for everyone that reviewed the last chapter! Your support means a lot to me and I really appreciate the positive comments and the other feedback that you're all giving me! Keep it up and you never know, the next chapter might come out faster!


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